


Still Scared?

by fictionalportal



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 00:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4120258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalportal/pseuds/fictionalportal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla hates being Laura's hero. But why?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Scared?

The living room had become a central spot for everything except what Carmilla wished it was currently being used for. Throughout the day, people had been in and out of the room, never knocking or leaving her and Laura alone for any extended period of time. 

After Perry had shown up with ominous Latin words carved into her stomach, LaFontaine had come screeching back from the protest. Danny, followed on her heel by Kirsch, had immediately taken up the task of investigating any way that someone could have broken into Perry’s room. Laura figured they must have been very thorough in their investigation: they came back downstairs a few hours later with mussed hair and wrinkled clothes. 

LaFontaine had decided it was best to distract Perry. They had promised just one game of cards, to calm her down, and then they would leave. One game was quickly followed by another, and another, until the two had roped Laura into joining around ten o’clock. Carmilla witnessed another two hours of rule-less poker, blackjack, and war by the time she made an executive declaration. She had finished her book, the last thing keeping her from banishing the ginger duo. 

“Shouldn’t you two be off collecting lizard scales or baking something out of the corpses of spiders?” 

“You know, if you wanted to play, you could have said something earlier,” LaFontaine teased. 

Carmilla responded to the jest with a murderous glare and silence.

“Alright, lover-vamp’s not in a jokey mood,” LaFontaine muttered. “Come on, Perr. Sleep will do you a hell of a lot of good.” 

Perry nodded and stood up, still clutching her shirt around her bandaged stomach. “Thank you,” she said, addressing the room. 

“Goodnight, guys,” Laura said with a somber smile. 

Perry clung to LaFontaine’s arm as they ushered her out of the living room and up the stairs. The two were slow ascending the steps as LaFontaine would stop and ask Perry if she was alright every other stair. Perry did not protest the pampering, given all she had been through in just a few days. 

As the two exited, Laura plopped down next to Carmilla on the leather chaise. The vampire’s head rested on the back of the chair, her eyes closed in thought rather than in sleep. She didn’t respond when Laura sat down, a non-reaction that elicited immediate prodding in the shoulder. 

“Come on, Carm,” Laura pouted. “You totally have the right to be mad, but Perry was really upset. She needed her friends.” 

“And we need to finish our conversation,” Carmilla said, opening her eyes and looking steadily into Laura’s, waiting for an answer. 

When none came, she sighed and started to push herself off the chaise. Laura grabbed her hand, pulling her back down. 

“Hang on. I’m just...thinking,” Laura said, her brow furrowed. She didn’t move to wrap her arm around Carmilla as she had earlier, instead crossing her legs on top of the chaise and turning to face her less than cheery girlfriend. Her hands flailed between them as she tried to summon the correct words. 

“Laura--”

“I said hang on!” Laura snapped. 

The little line between Carmilla’s eyebrows betrayed hurt, ever so slightly. 

Laura stood, taking a few steps from the chaise to gather her thoughts. “Look, what you said really hurt, Carmilla.”

“What?” Carmilla spat. 

“That you would even imply something like that--” She turned and saw Carmilla’s stony facade crumbling piece by piece, her breathing quickening. “No, that’s not what I mean. It’s just this deluded idea that I only cared about you after you saved everyone--”

“Oh, so now I’m delusional?” Carmilla stood, eye-level with Laura on the other side of the chaise. 

“That’s not what I said!” The pitch of Laura’s voice was dangerously close to shrieking. 

Carmilla mocked Laura when she spoke. “ ‘Carmilla’s a hero so she gets the girl.’” Her mocking tone broke as her voice cracked into a whisper: “fairy tales don’t end with the monsters winning, Laura.” 

Laura quickly stepped to the edge of the chaise, reaching across to hold Carmilla’s face in both her hands. “You are not a monster.” Laura said each word slowly. 

“Yes, I am. I’m a vampire,” Carmilla reminded her, pushing a hand away from her cheek, “and just because you see sparkling silver doesn’t mean there’s not rust and rot underneath.” 

Laura shook her head, watching Carmilla in disbelief. “No, Carm, you’re a good person. You’re not rusty and tarnished.” 

“You can’t choose the pretty parts of people, separate the black and white from the gray that they blend into.” 

“I know, Carmilla.” 

“No, you don’t--”

“Yes. I do.” Laura huffed out a breath, dropping her tense shoulders down before continuing. “I used to think there was good and bad and everyone had to pick a side. But when everything started happening, some people chose to sit out and watch.” 

She knelt on the extension of the chaise so that she could hold Carmilla by the shoulders. She could feel the force of her angry breaths, but she was determined to finish her monologue. 

“And one very brave, very much gray vampire gave up everything familiar to take a heroic leap into the dark.” 

Her eyes shone with all the desperation not captured in her words. She linked her hands around Carmilla’s neck and pulled herself closer, touching their foreheads together and closing her eyes. 

“When I thought you were dead, it wasn’t the heroic actions or even the snarky comments I missed. It was you. All of you, good and bad and bloody and beautiful.” 

Carmilla choked out a laugh through a sob. Laura opened her eyes to see the vampire suddenly crying and pulled back to wipe away her tears, sweeping her thumbs over Carmilla’s cheeks. The vampire took one of Laura’s hands in her own, kissing her palm as her other hand found its way to Laura’s lower back. The next moment they were wrapped in each others arms, Laura’s head on Carmilla’s shoulder. For a few silent moments, they stayed that way. 

“Carm?” 

When Laura broke the silence, Carmilla tore herself away from the embrace. She looked down at the floor as she spoke the words more painful to her than starving for over a week, more dangerous than a leap into the abyssal home of a God. 

“...I love you, Laura.” 

Without a second of hesitation, Laura threw her arms around Carmilla’s neck. 

“Thank you,” Laura said into dark hair before placing a kiss on Carmilla’s temple as she backed off to look into her eyes again. “I love you, Carmilla. Please believe me.” 

Carmilla smiled sadly. “I’ll try.”


End file.
